Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)
More people need to know this.This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.
I’m trying to quit cutting. Reblog this and I will write down your url and put it in a box/jar for me to go to when I feel like cutting. If you’re there for me to talk to so I know someone cares. I’ve tried so many times to quit, but every time, I always end up alone at some point. I want you guys to reblog this so I know that I have you and I’m not alone. It would mean the world to me. I really want to stop.
I support you, love.
EVERYBODY BETTER REBLOG THIS
- Plays: 609,293
- Artist: Satellite High
- Track Name: The Bus Is Late
First time listening:
Second time listening:
Third time listening:
WAITING FOR THE BUS TOOK A PICTURE OF ANOTHER BUS WAITING FOR THE BUS IN THE RAIN I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE BUS AS THE SUN CAME UP BUT THE SUN AIN’T OUT NO MORE CAUSE IT’S GREY WAITING FOR THE BUS THERE’S A GREY ONE BLUE ONE A RED ONE ALL OF THEM TURNED AWAY I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE BUS GOTTA CATCH A BUS GOTTA WATCH NEWS GOTTA REGIMENT A PLAN FOR THE DAY
This beat is so sick, it never falters, even thru all of the transitions omg what is this alien beauty?
- Plays: 571,389
Carry On My Wayward Son (lullaby Version)
Why can I so easily picture this playing in the spn series finale as the camera takes one last look moving over the dead bodies of all our favorite characters, stopping on the rusting frame of the impala and then slowly fading to black?
No! Into the corner with you!
As the music starts, the camera shows the sightless eyes of Kevin Tran, lying on the floor, weak body from starvation and sleepless nights apparent. The camera moves to show his mother, Mrs. Tran, lying next to him. Both of them tried to shield the other in the chaos and blood. They lie dead together.
The next scene shows Garth, lying on the ground, Bobby’s cap lying beside him, stained with blood. He is loosely holding a rifle, which contained salt, in an attempt to fight them off. To win once and for all. The salt is scattered on the ground around him. His body remains there until decayed.
The camera comes up from the ground to reveal the blank face of Sam Winchester, the one Azazel chose, the one who threw himself into hell for the good of earth. He lies, jacket stained, separated from his brother and his friends. He never got the family or the happy ending he wanted. His hair is stained and chopped, uneven in places. The blood drips down the side of his face, mirroring Jess.
Finally, we see Dean and Cas, dead on the ground. The scorch mark of Castiel’s wings cover the ground and Dean’s face and body, shielded by an angel until the very end. A gold amulet on the ground next to him, fallen out of his ripped trench coat. Dean clutches a demon blade, covered in blood, but more of his own than of the enemy. His body lies close to Cas, destined to remain together since he was raised from hell. They are now burnt and broken shells of men and angels. But they knew their only purpose.
In the corner of the field, hidden away in a presumably good parking spot, is the Impala, where it has been for a while, and will continue to be there until the trees and plants grow around it, crushing the windows, demolishing the rust, moulding the leather seats. The army men will be consumed by the soil, and in many years time, decompose. This car will be like any other old car seen abandoned in a field or on a road. Its age will show when Dean is not present to take care of her. The heater will never rattle again.
People will find the bodies, perhaps, and catalogue them as John or Jane Does, unknown to the world, unknown to the great service they gave them. They all gave their lives. And in return we live ours for them.
The camera fades to black.
*brings plastic knife to a gang fight*
Brittle, cheap plastic knives are actually pretty great weapons if you file the end down to a point, you can stab someone and then torque your wrist to shatter the plastic blade inside the wound. It’s pretty effective if you do it near a joint or in the gut as those places move a lot and cause the broken shards to shift around.
oh my god
For ever reblog I will draw a small doodle for that blog. I will do it.
And I have decided to use my new moleskin sketchbook only for this post.
AND I WANT TO FILL ALL OF THE PAGES AND I WILL PUT YOUR URL ON THE PAGE WITH YOUR DOODLE. I PROMISE.